theres never any substantial safety net of good, people-related memories in my head for me to fall back on. thats why i have no faith. im often hopeful but dont i have any true faith in people that i meet.

it would also be cool if i didnt feel like the shitty things people have done to me negated all the good things. maybe thats a flaw i have.

ive never really acknowledged it until now but at least half of the times ive thought about having sex with someone it makes my skin crawl. when i get off i literally am never thinking about someone fucking me. i wish the few times ive actually enjoyed sex still meant something. or that i could separate the nice sex feelings from the person that gave them to me.

wish i could get over this already. wish i could stop thinking about every fucking person whos touched me.

i got an email back from Urban! im pretty sure this is the last step before an in person interview i just have to do an ethics survey

i think it’s especially cute how my caterpillars all calm down when i turn off my main light and just have my fairy lights on haha all day theyre crawling all over then they like okay goodnight naomi dont forget to feed us new leaves in the AM

Fixed. theme by Andrew McCarthy